Sharmil is this cute little bundle of energy and ready smiles who just turned one two weeks ago. I had the honor of documenting her first birthday party, which her parents doubled as a kiddie party for the streetchildren in their area. To say that this baby is loved, loved, loved is an understatement. Three frames!
family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family
“Sometimes you break your heart in the right way, if you know what I mean.”
― Gregory David Roberts
Shantaram
taken using an Olympus E-510 with film Zuiko 50mm |
The unfortunate tragedy of my Canon camera dying on me forced me to pick up my old Olympus camera again. It was already sitting in the box, packed with its wires and cables and charger, and had even showed it to someone who showed interest in buying it (Yes, I can't believe I even considered that). With no choice but to use that camera for the times during the day when I needed to unwind, I fell in love with it all over again.
Oly is a spectacular underperformer. When I used my 50d to take photos, I would marvel at how it rendered light and color so well, and I would squirm, thinking of how badly my Oly would have handled it. But time and time again, I fall in love.
This was my first camera, given to me by a loving aunt, and it took me just now to realize that I could never, ever part with it. I use this almost exclusively with my vintage film 50 mm Zuiko which means that this lens has to be turned manually to focus, making it practically useless for action shots. The crop on this thing is also terrible, it now takes photos like some mutated telephoto lens, and in cramped, small spaces, you will be lucky to take a decent frame of a person's face when he is standing in front of you, with a little bit of neck if you're lucky.
It is fussy, but the aperture blades close and open fine. I love how small it feels in my hand, but also how sturdy the metal parts feel. I love how the camera is missing a few port covers and is dusty in nooks and crannies, but it's an old camera, and somehow aged is just the right look for it. The worst thing about this camera is its low light performance and how badly it blows highlights during sunny days. But working with this camera is teaching me a lot about patience, about learning how to work with difficult things and try to get something beautiful (at least to me), out of them.
So no, this camera is no longer up for sale. I think JP will be glad that I've reached this decision, since he has told me not to sell the camera and just keep it as part of a collection. I doubt if this camera will ever be left to gather dust, however. I may forget to pick it up for weeks and even months, but it constantly draws me in from time to time, and I easily fall in love all over again.
“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.
Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn't what you get for it,
but what you become for it.
Shake things up today!
Be You...
Be Free...
Share.”
― Steve Maraboli
Life, the Truth, and Being Free
I have been thinking about how amazing the Internet is, because it fosters creativity and sharing, friendships bridged by fiber optic cables and cultivated through instant messages, hour-long conversations over chatboxes, and encouragement in the form of blog comments and social network "Likes". No matter what they say about how impersonal communication is becoming in the day and age of the Internet, there is also a lot to be said about how the Internet is fostering a new kind of friendship and meaningful communication between people who have not even met in person.
I consider a lot of bloggers and writers online as personal mentors, whether I communicate with them personally or not, and without the Internet, I would not have these influences (will definitely be doing a post on my top inspirations and am pretty excited about it!) Nor would these things be possible had these people been too selfish to answer questions or write about things that inspire them, which also inspires me. The world is bursting at the seams with creativity, it's just a matter of knowing what draws you in, what makes your heart skip a beat, and immersing yourself totally in it.
Creativity is free online and there are so many sources of inspiration out there, but without people willing to share the results of their creativity and without those who readily give encouragement to others who need it, none of these will be available for inspiration-starved people like myself. So a big Thank you to the people who invented the Internet, the people who share in it, and the people who spread positivity and inspiration with each of their posts.
Happy Labor Day!
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”
― Ellen Bass
I've been struggling with the deepest sense of insecurity in the past few months. I don't know why, I've never considered myself to be the painfully insecure type, I've always considered myself for be (thankfully) the dense type, the one who is blissfully unaware of how the rest of the world thinks or if that's not the case, I was able to dismiss any negative vibes before they can bother me.
However, a deeper sense of insecurity hit me a few months before graduating law school, which could be attributed to the fact that I was nearing the end of a stage in my life and entering another stage which is new and uncertain. The insecurity is still there, although going through it made me reflect on the importance of being thankful for who I am. I Googled this phrase and the more popular search result is "being thankful for what you have' which is not surprising I guess, but it also makes a bit of sense to be thankful for what we are, as opposed to what we have.
I am at an age when I am starting to accept that this is what I am, that this is the result of the loves and hurts and all the experiences that make up the years of my life, and I am actually learning to be OK with it. I've seen those movies where the character says, "This is me, get used to it" but this is actually the first time that I finally understood enough to relate.
Being comfortable in our own skin is probably something we develop and become good at as we grow older. There will still be instances when we may feel the urge to be comfortable in somebody else's, but learning how to love our own skin and learning how to rock our own stories, no matter how boring or mundane or uninspiring it may seem right next to the colorful stories of others, feels surprisingly better, probably because we are giving ourselves the permission to follow our own path, on our own pace.
And there it is, another week almost over.
Happy Saturday, everyone!
Since this is the Holy Week I thought I'd make this post sooner rather than later. My camera, a Canon 50D, died on me yesterday, just as I was about to go on a family portrait shoot for a former schoolmate and her family. I was shaking, didn't know why my camera was suddenly having seizures like some sick epileptic child, the shutter firing off uncontrollably whenever I turned it on. It was a good thing that another photographer friend was available to do the shoot for me, since after that scare I was in no shape to shoot anything.
I learned a lot of lessons yesterday, or rather, some lessons I already knew were hammered pretty hard into my thick skull. For example, never agree to shoot if you don't have a trusty back-up (I had none) and buy a brand new camera! I'm still in the process of doing the second one, although I am hoping it will be sooner (LOL!) rather than later.
I allowed myself to go through the stages of grief last night, I bawled my eyes out so hard that I couldn't see what I was typing for work, but thankfully I am out of the funk and everything's back in perspective again. I especially like how that experience made me reflect on deaths and rebirth, how one cannot happen without the other.
I've read somewhere that in order to live again you have to die first, which is terribly apt given how some things are never given a chance to come to life when something old and rotten is in the way. That's the notion of salvation that I've learned since childhood, but there are just certain ideas that strike you differently when you're older and you begin to look at things a new way. I guess it's one of those things, hitting me like differently in a way that makes more sense now. (Whew, who would've thought that a camera malfunction would lead to this kind of reflection? Not me.)
Easter is perhaps the best time to do some major personal reflection, about where I am spiritually and how I've progressed, knowing that I still have a lot of ground to cover when it comes to this aspect in my life. I am thankful, however, for the chance to reflect and for the opportunities to do things better tomorrow.
Happy Easter everyone :)
Featured Post
Personal {Coffee at Home}
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not o...
ABOUT ME
Fur mama, bargain hunter, and horror-movie buff. I write for businesses and real people. I also love taking photos of lived, honest and authentic moments. Especially when dogs are involved.